Anonymous Deaf Chat Q&A #2

ANONYMOUS QUESTION #1

Does it get annoying to have to sign so much slower than usual to new learners?

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"No, it takes lots of patience, help them out, be kind and respectful. I am hard of hearing but without my hearing aid I am completely deaf. I had been through this for over 29 years. Good question."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"I'm always very happy that someone else is taking the initiative to learn to sign. I don't mind one bit if someone trying to learn is slow."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Since I was the token Deaf child mainstreamed since 3rd grade until I graduated hs, no. I'm used to being an ASL teacher! I've taught ASL in my home and teach families with DHH children as a Deaf mentor. I never get tired of it. I genuinely appreciate it when others are trying to learn ASL."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Never! I am so appreciative people are making the effort, I will sit and fingerspell, or play charades for hours. Nothing makes me happier."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"I stay enthusiastic to the signers no matter what.

Also I show appreciation for them to taking the time to learn our language. I want to support and show it is critical for everyone to learn ASL in a way to communicate without suffering consequences we get by not having access to it. Community accountability is important."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Not annoying. I really appreciate that they're learning our language so I'll always take the time to sign slower."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Not at all! I appreciate people who try. It's rare that people truly try to learn for us, so when they do, it's valuable and we cherish that."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"I'm usually patience because I teaches ASL but sometimes it gets a bit cumbersome as I know it does for others who aren't as patient as I am."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Not annoying for me. Only when it's repeated because the new signer is so worrrried about being wrong. Just let go. Have fun. And it makes for a better conversation."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Not usually. I understand that they're learning and we need to be patient with them, especially since they took the time to learn."

ANONYMOUS QUESTION #2

How do you encourage family members to learn ASL?

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Expose ASL signs. Encourage and empowerment!"

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Ask them, tell them about sign language classes, explain why it would benefit you and them, teach them when the chance arises."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Express your desire to have an enriching relationship with your DHH family member. High quality communication=high quality relationships."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Show they're just like any other children if we're constantly exposing them with Deaf people and then they realize that we're having a good time chatting in ASL connecting with one another in a common shared language rather than being isolated in a place where no one signs ASL."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"It depends on who is Deaf in the family... if it's a Deaf child, I'll share info with them about how important it is to make them feel inclusive, to prevent isolation and to really feel like a part of the family. Myself, growing up I had no idea what were my family's inside jokes. What they were like growing up. What they always say. When I became a teenager, I often remove myself from family gatherings to do my own thing all alone. I rather that than feeling much more alone with my family. It's common in the families that don't sign."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"I send them resources and invite them to Deaf events! Sometimes though, they won't make an effort and while that's hard to accept sometimes- it is what it is. Then I know to be aware of that when I'm with that family member."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Going to as many deaf events as possible. Make new friends with deaf of like-minded, use The-ASL-App to practice slangs and phrases of ASL. Take free lessons from Lifeprint.com and only $15 full course fingerspelling lesson from SignedWithHeart. Also if possible, get a deaf mentor from first step program."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"You sign to them. As you converse. They'll either pick it up or the won't. For me. No one signed. Till I had my deaf kids. Then it was a different attitude."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Educate the benefits of ASL and give them ample resources, so they don't feel overwhelmed and lost in where to start."

ANONYMOUS QUESTION #3

What's the BEST thing about being Deaf?

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"When i take my hearing aids off, things are so quiet and peaceful. I love that my life had a volume switch."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"That everywhere I go, if I see a Deaf person who I don't know, they're automatically family and it's almost 90% likely that we know a mutual friend after talking for a while. That connection is golden. You need help with directions? Lemme take you myself. You need help finding a place? I know someone. You need a travel guide in a new city? I'll help you! Every Deaf person we meet is a lifetime family member."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Ironically, I think it's made me a good communicator. I listen to others with my entire being with minimal distraction. I'm very good at being able to discern needs n others. I think by having this ability to listen with my heart has made me a good friend to others."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"EVERYTHING! I can sleep anywhere. People remember me. I can have conversations underwater. I am immune to catcalling and creepy dudes. Everything in the world is peaceful and serene. Deaf COMMUNITY!"

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"The community! It is a great part of who I am - I wouldn't have met my husband if I wasn't deaf! He's Deaf too!

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"POETRY- stories sharing with Deaf friends for sure- I'm amazed with how we manipulate parameters in parallel with the concept of the English sounds and how we manipulate sounds to create beautiful words that has meanings behind it. We do that too in ASL and I literally am still learning about it because it grows from the roots of Deaf community. You'll never stop learning ASL if we continue to gather in the community, that's the best part of being Deaf."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"EVERYTHING. It's my identity. It's being a part of a different special world with its own language, history, culture, and community."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"The community. By far. I love being a part of the Deaf family around the world."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"That hearing people cannot grasp the concept of deaf gain, only deaf people would know."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"The community, the shared experience. No matter where I go in the world, Deaf people experience the same kind of oppression there. Sometimes it may be the same degree, sometimes more, sometimes less but same thing.

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"I know of no other way ha. I am deaf and it's just what it is. But during sex I don't have to hear the grunts and such."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"I love my Deaf identity, my language, and my Deaf community. I also love the perspective and experiences I've been given as a Deaf individual in a hearing world."

ANONYMOUS QUESTION #4

If you were CI implanted later in life, did you face any struggles using your CI?

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"I got mine when I was seven and that was considered "young" back in the day. I felt like I was constantly trying to process sounds. It was hard for me to identify natural sounds vs. electronic noises coming from the CI itself. Listening fatigue is REAL!!!! I looked forward to taking it off everyday after school. Like taking a bra off at the end of a long day!"

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Yes! Sound is overwhelming. I like having the option. But full-time wear isn't and never has been my goal. It took me a long time to find a CI team willing to implant me because I was very upfront about NOT aspiring to attain LSL communication."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"I was implanted at the age of 7. I already had my Deaf identity and knew it was different and saw how people treated me before and after. It is certainly a privilege to have to be able to hear with cochlear implant- even at work. Just because I can speak so well with my cochlear implant has sent the wrong messages to people everywhere where they see without asking me and make assumptions that speech is the best way to thrive in the world."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"I hated the training sessions. Did it as a kid and loathed them as an adult."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Age 4 in 1984. No benefit other than minimal access to loud sounds. Can't understand spoken language with it. I've also had to deal with nerve pain/issues from time to time."

ANONYMOUS QUESTION #5

Do you consider yourself part of the disability community?

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"No, I find it hard to see myself as "disabled", because I can do anything I want. Sometimes I feel that I have a disadvantage, though."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Yes. But don't see that as a negative. I am profoundly Deaf and an upper level city administrator. I have a platform and a voice and first hand experience that I can use to make my entire city more accessible for everyone. Being Deaf makes my life better. Not worse."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"I don't see Deafness as a disability but rather a privilege! Having an "in" with the Deaf community and using ASL has offered me a unique perspective in life. #deafgain"

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"I thought no, the more I learn about the community and how we are struggling especially the students who come from certain schools (not all) mainstream program with no sense of Deaf community belongings because of hearing people that doesn't teach Deaf CULTURE or utilize ASL shows children not thriving in education and unfortunately language deprivation children will be considered as DA because of inability to read or write... sometimes with the inability to communicate in any languages. However, we require accommodations such as interpreters for us to succeed without barriers."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"No, I don't consider myself disabled. I can do everything except hear. I only need an interpreter for the non signers and that's it."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Yes and no. Yes for the sake of getting the services we need. But also no because I don't believe disabilities exist. Who decided that people with this type of body are "disabled"? A professor once told me that it would be like someone looking at a rose bush and deciding which was the "right" kind of rose. Who decided we were the wrong kind?"

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"No, never thought myself to be disabled."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"No."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"No. I'm not disabled, but I won't say no to "freebies" or perks, such as ticket discounts, seating preferences, or preboarding a plane, for example."

ANONYMOUS QUESTION #6

How do you feel about hard of hearing folk who want to join deaf community. Advice?

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"You are the boss of your own identity. Being "Deaf" has nothing to do with the numbers on an audiogram. It's about who you are, and how you communicate with the world."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"The more, the merrier!"

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"They have to understand their privileges before overstepping the Deaf community and be willingly to learn ASL."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"I'm one of them! I still speak and hear "well" compared to me profoundly deaf friends. I think as long as you never act as though you are superior because you're hard of hearing, you're good. I would also avoid interpreting or sim-comming in front of your Deaf friends unless asked."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Depends on the deaf people in the deaf community, for the most part we would embrace them into our folds if they're willing to learn complexity of ASL structure and grammatically-wise as well as learning richness of deaf culture. Many who were hard of hearing within our deaf community start to call themselves Deaf with the capitol D because they become fully engaged within the community."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Cool! Come join us. Just be mindful of the various modes of communication and respect everyone's differences."

ANONYMOUS QUESTION #7

How can we better serve our Deaf students with Autism? Especially in early intervention

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Educate yourself about autism. Look for workshops that share information about these disabilities combined. They are few and far between, but they're out there. This is a fairly new area of research also. Hence the lack of information about Deafness with autism."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"We really need to ensure there's more training out there for DeafPlus/DeafDisabled first off. I would also encourage bringing in role models who are DeafAutistic."

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ANONYMOUS REPLY

"I have a deaf friend who has a child who's deaf with autism doing very well because while the child's non-verbal, she able to converse well with visual language especially among other deaf students using ASL and teachers who uses ASL."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Remember that they're kids who need love too. I also need help in this area as a Deaf teacher of the Deaf. Would love resources and training in working with such a unique population."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Work closely with their ABA therapists to better understand the individual's autism. A general knowledge of autism is not enough. Eye contact is important in the deaf culture but eye contact is difficult for most autistic people so please be patient and not take it personally."

ANONYMOUS QUESTION #8

How do you come to the conclusion to implant your profoundly Deaf child?

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"It's just a tool. Going bionic didn't make either of us less Deaf. It was an easy decision when I stopped seeing it as black/white. There's space for listening and signing. We are both happy with our CIs and wish we'd done it sooner."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"This is a tough call. So many variables to take into consideration, but ultimately-- you know your child best. Go with your parental instinct. Just go into this knowing that CIs outcomes are not guaranteed. They most definitely are NOT the solution or cure to Deafness. They're simply a tool."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Learn ASL before implanting the child. You'll understand and know by then once ya'll can fully converse in ASL."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"I don't have children at this point but I have recently told my spouse that if we had a profoundly Deaf child, I would consider implanting them so that they would have all tools and options at their disposal. Would I really do it, I'm not sure. But I would consider it for the sake of giving them the choice."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"My husband and I decided not to implant our profoundly Deaf son. We want him to make the decision on his own when he is a bit older and can understand the risks/benefits."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"He asked me. Unfortunately he didn't qualify. No nerve. But I was open to it. Just a tool."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"If child is old enough, let them choose. Talk with Deaf adults about their experiences with CIs. Refer back to @momthatsigns first round of questions for more info from Deaf adults."

ANONYMOUS QUESTION #9

How to help deaf children with other disabilities when it feels like we don't fit in either world

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Maximize your resources. There are support systems for every disability out there. Utilize resources for the Deaf and utilize resources for the remaining disabilities. Eventually your child will show you which s/he prefers most- they may love being a part of multiple communities!

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"I teach kids with disabilities to use "I need ___, so I can ___." People won't always know how to respond when meeting someone who is different, but they're usually more than willing to do anything to facilitate positive interactions. By saying "so I can" it forces the world to see what people with disabilities CAN do. It teaches people with disabilities to see themselves as powerful, capable people. It builds problem solving skills.

Example: "I need to sit in this seat so I can hear you with my directional mics." Instead of "I can't hear you because I'm facing a big room and my directional mics are bombarding me with chaos sounds." A person without hearing loss probably doesn't even know what directional mics are, much less how to resolve the issue."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"I keep reminding the Deaf children that their ears don't work just like hearing people do so we are seen as different just like them. And need to teach we are all human and love one another."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Meet other parents with DeafDisabled kids! As an early interventionalist (and a Deaf one at that), I can tell you there are lots of you out there!"

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Have them meet older role models especially many famous deaf artists, deaf musicians, deaf dancers, deaf comedians, deaf lawyers, deaf doctors, deaf firefighters, deaf cops, deaf models, deaf nurses... and many many more. Many can be found in Instagram and Facebook to follow. Oh and find out how signing was first invented in baseball and the huddle in football... all from the deaf players."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Treat them like you would any other child. Show them/take them to Deaf events, camps, etc. Include them in everything, too."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"I misread this... deaf with other disabilities, I understand that this is the hardest thing to deal with for many of them but for me growing up to now, I have many deaf friends that are called deaf-plus (deaf along with other disabilities) that I have much admiration for what they are capable of beyond their abilities and overcome many obstacles. I also follow several public figures who have deaf plus for their many achievements."

ANONYMOUS QUESTION #10

How do you feel about HoH kids who want to refer to themselves as Deaf?

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Go ahead and call yourselves Deaf! It's YOUR identity and journey. My husband is HoH but identifies himself as Deaf and I'm profoundly Deaf."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

""Deaf" is an umbrella term to me. Yes, there are various levels of deafness. Honestly, from my experience, I've noticed people are generally more accommodating to those who are profoundly Deaf and use ASL. Unfortunately, more often then not, when people realize someone is HH, they tend to assume they can make do with their residual hearing and get by with their speaking skills. This makes them less likely to be accommodating and understanding. So, I don't blame the HH if they want to just label themselves as Deaf and just sign in public to avoid explaining how much they can hear and why they speak so well."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Deaf is an identity. Not an audiometric label."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Fine with me! It's up to them to identify themselves. I have several friends that are considered HoH but they identify as Deaf."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"That's great and their choice! I'm a HOH adult who identifies as Deaf because even though I have a decent bit of hearing compared to my friends, I SO value the Deaf community and ASL. maybe that child does too!"

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"That's the best thing! I used to be called HOH by my deaf peers because I speak well even though I'm profoundly deaf. Once I became involve in the deaf community, my peers finally labeled me Deaf with the capitol D."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Go for it!"

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"Cultural speaking. It's how they identify themselves. If they respect the culture. Let them be. Anyone can be stone deaf any time. It's the culture that shapes you."

ANONYMOUS REPLY

"You identify with what you identify with. No one has to agree with you though, as it can be subjective. However, if one identifies as Deaf, most likely they'd be fluent ASL users and participate in the Deaf community."